Melissa and Girls

Sunday, July 11th: The girls and I woke up around 9 a.m. I made breakfast and we started to get ready to go to my grandma's house. I knew it would be a long day for her and wanted to be able to help in any way I could. We left around noon but stopped at Arctic Circle to eat lunch so we weren't an inconvenience while at her house. When we first got to her house she came up to me and gave me a big hug. My Aunt Jennifer and Aunt Theo had stayed the night and I also hugged each of them. This of course was very tearful and emotional. It must have been hard to really understand what had happened the day before and they had a lot of questions so I told them everything I could about what happened. My grandma was very upset that my grandpa hadn't been wearing his helmet. She said that she thought he always wore it. My Aunt Theo told her that whenever they were four wheeling with them he never wore it.  It's looking like he would wear it with certain people but not with others. Most of the day was spent with various neighbors/ward members stopping in to offer their condolences and various family members arriving. Those who lived out of state were either making plans on when and how they would get here or still finding out about his death.  My aunts and grandma were very worried about how my mom was doing and anxiously waiting for them to arrive and it was around 4:30 p.m. when they finally did.  My aunts and grandma rushed outside to see my mom and had another tearful reunion.  Of course we also started to discuss the funeral arrangements and we had been waiting for the mortuary to call and they never did.  Finally my aunt Jennifer called and we found out that they were closed on Sunday so it was actually Monday that they were going to call.  However, because my grandpa wanted to be cremated we had a lot of questions and the on-call person was willing to talk to us about some of our options.  At first I was upset that he wanted to be cremated.  However, my uncle explained that as long as he wears his temple clothes for the cremation it is ok as far as the gospel is concerned and I felt much better about it.  My grandma wasn't planning on a viewing but the mortuary told us the family would be able to see him the next day so we kind of planned on it being a private family viewing.  They day passed very quickly and quietly and finally around 9:00 p.m. I headed home.

Monday, July 12th: Sean had offered to watch the girls so I took him up on this. After dropping them off I met my Grandma; Aunt Theo and her daughters, Michelle and Erica and Erica's husband Ryan; my Mom and Dad and sister Lisa; Aunt Jennifer and Uncle Tony at the mortuary. As we were walking in my Grandma started to cry and had to take a moment to get herself together before walking in. Learning about cremation was very interesting. It took a while to sort through all the different options and the legalities of it. We also wrote the obituary while there. After the decisions had been made it was time for the family to see my grandpa. My Grandma went in first and by herself and after a few minutes she was ready for the rest of us to come in. Because I had been on the mountain and at the hospital I held back to let everyone else have an opportunity to see him. While at the mortuary we were also discussing different options of who would do what in the family.  I was asked to make the program for the memorial service (apparently they're not funerals when it's a cremation).  Because I had taken pictures of him fishing only a few hours before his death everyone wanted that picture to be used on the program.  It is really a lot of difficult decisions to make on how to remember a loved one.  Any time I hear of a friend that has had a death in their family I feel so bad for them knowing what they will be experiencing.  Anyway, after we finally left it was early in the afternoon and I headed home to start working on the program.  It wasn't until about 9:00 when I finally was finished with them (I had made a few different versions) when I finally picked up the girls from Sean and headed to my grandma's to see which one they would want to use and after a few changes we settled on one.  My aunts had found a box of nice cardstock in my grandpa's things and wondered if it would work for the programs so I took it with me so I could look into it.  We were only there for about 30 minutes when we drove home and went to bed.

Tuesday, July 13th: I woke up and started calling different printers in the area for an estimate on color prints for the program. After finding a local printer in SF was the cheapest I met my aunts there.

You'll have to imagine these printed on paper but this is the only way I could upload it.  Anyway, the man at the counter said I did a nice job and commented that he had just been reading about my grandpa that morning (whether an article in the paper or his obituary I don't know).  Anyway, it was really interesting because we decided to print 250 copies and the man said he wasn't sure if we had enough paper.  We actually had 249 pieces of paper so it worked out perfectly and we thought that was pretty funny.  After leaving the printer my girls were tired of being home so I decided to take them to the day care so they could see their friends for a few hours.  I went home and wanted to sleep because I was so tired but my house hadn't been cleaned and laundry hadn't been done in a few days so I turned my music up, cleaned and mowed my back yard.  I wasn't planning on doing anything with the family that night buy my Aunt Amy flew in from Oregon and on her way to my Grandma's stopped and picked up dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory.  I love their Spinach Tortellini so I couldn't resist the offer.  I picked up my girls and headed back up to my Grandma's.  It's been a couple years since I've seen my Aunt Amy.  After a tearful greeting it was fun to spend the rest of the evening talking.  Around 10:00 p.m. we headed home and went to bed.

Wednesday, July 14th:  This was a long day.  During the previous few days many family members wanted to go see where the accident happened.  At first my parents were reluctant but finally agreed.  Also, we knew that everyone in the family that was able to come would be here by late Tuesday/early, early Wednesday morning so another family viewing was arranged for 8:30 a.m.  Because I had already said my goodbyes I decided not to go to this viewing and it was a good thing too because I woke up late.  Anyone who was planning on driving to the mountain was going to leave from the mortuary at 9:30 so I was able to get the girls and I out the door.  Luckily I only live about 3 minutes away and they hadn't left yet so I didn't have to play catch-up.  There ended up being 4 car loads of people going.  Aunt Amy decided to drive down with me and we were able to catch up on the long drive down.  Around 1:00 p.m. we finally arrived at our campsite.  My mom had packed sandwiches, chips and drinks for everyone so we ate lunch and talked about where everything had been set up at camp.  After lunch we continued on and finally arrived at the beginning of the trailhead.  No 4 wheelers were involved in this trip and we all hiked down the trail on foot.  My grandpa had a walking stick he would take hiking with him and my Aunt Amy made sure everyone had a turn with it.  When we got to to bottom of the hill my dad showed everyone where my Grandpa had been and where his bike had was.  We also found some pieces of the bike such as the broken mirror, a piece of the brake lever and some plastic pieces.  I think because we were now removed from the drama of the event we were able to actually talk and 'guestimate' what we think happened.  We think the bike only rolled 1 time based on the amount of damage to the bike and the location of where my Grandpa was and where the bike had landed.  Based on that assumption we realized that he had not really got to the part of the trail that was difficult yet.  Because of that assumption we are thinking something happened that either caused his bike to stall or for some other reason roll backward.  There was one rock on the side of the trail that if his right back tire had hit it would have sent his bike rolling in the direction that crushed the front left of the bike.  My Mom, Dad, cousin Peter, Amy and myself all agree that that is a logical conclusion.  If he had been any farther up the trail where it was much steeper it would have rolled farther below him.  I guess we could all be completely wrong but it really was nice to all feel like we "know" what happened.  My dad feels a lot better because I think he was worried about people thinking it was his fault for making my Grandpa go on the trail.  After a while everyone seemed to finally feel a little more at peace with what had happened.  I know Amy finally felt okay that he had indeed died in a beautiful place with his family doing what he loved.  We needed to head home and this time my cousin Peter and another cousin's daughter, Nina, rode home with me.  Peter is living in West Virginia so it was nice to be able to catch up with him too.  When we got back to grandma's house we had another family dinner since the entire family was finally here.  We had KFC and lots of side dishes that the Relief Society brought in.  After dinner was finished I went with my aunts to help set up the Relief Society room for the Memorial Service.  Because we weren't having a viewing we had spent a lot of time planning on setting out different things that represented my Grandpa's life and had an hour before the services in which people could come and visit.  I was asked last minute to make some cards for the tables so people would know what they were looking at.  Again, around 10:00 p.m. the girls and I headed for home and I got to work on the placecards.

Thursday, July 15th:  We had to wake up early to get ready and get to the church on time to finish setting up.  The tables looked amazing and I was happy (and sad that it was because of these circumstances) that I was able to see a whole new side of my grandpa that I hadn't known before.  I think it's interesting that in families we all seem to have our roles and while we're interested in how everyone is doing and care and love them do we really know them?  As people came to visit with the family I found it fascinating to listen to the different stories everyone had about him.  I guess we really never know how we affect others during our lifetime.  I really wish that I hadn't taken him for granted.  Anyway, an interesting thing happened before the "viewing" began.  My nephew Jaxon was not with us on the camping trip and Lisa said that she had not said anything to Jaxon about what had happened.  She figured that because Jaxon had just barely turned 3 and didn't really know grandpa that he wouldn't understand what was going on.  Amazingly, as we were sitting in the relief society room Lisa was holding a program in her hand and Jaxon grabbed it and held it and stared at the picture on the front for about 5 minutes.  He was completely still looking at it (and honestly, this kid NEVER sits still!)  Suddenly Jaxon started saying things like, "Grandpa with people up there!" while he was pointing up to the ceiling and "Grandpa hit head, rock."  Lisa was in complete shock as were the rest of us who saw this.  Lisa swears that he couldn't have heard her talking about anything to do with the accident.  To me it is another affirmation how thin the veil is.  After the memorial service was over we had a military service outside the church since my Grandpa had served in the Navy.  I hate TAPS.  It makes me cry every time I hear it but it was actually very touching.  After this was finished we went back inside for the typical family luncheon that the Relief Society prepared.  I was very thankful for their willingness to serve and make life just a little easier.  I was even more grateful when considering it was actually their third funeral in three days and how much work it must have been to do this again.  We went back to my grandma's house for a little while but eventually I needed to go home.  The girls go to Sean's every Thursday so I needed to take them to his house and honestly I just needed some time alone so I could just relax.

Friday, July 16th:  This was my first day back at work.  It was nice to be back in a familiar routine.  The day was going along great until about 9:30 that night when I got a call from Sean that Jordyn had cut her foot and wondered if I thought he should take her to get stitches.  He didn't really think she needed them but I thought it sounded like she did.  We decided he would clean the wound really well and bandage it up and look at it again in the morning and take her to the instacare if needed.

Saturday, July 17th:  I cleaned my house in the morning and then expected to pick up the girls.  I hadn't heard from Sean so I assumed he had decided against stitches.  However, I finally received a call from Ashley (their step-mom) that she thought Jordyn needed stitches and they were wondering if they should take her to the Instacare or if I would want to.  Of course I was very nice but my answer was obviously that they should take her.  So, as I was waiting to hear the verdict from the doctor I jumped in the shower.  She ended up getting 6 stitches right on the ball of her foot.  When Sean finally dropped her off it was obvious she couldn't walk and thank goodness I have those crutches at my house from when I was a kid.  She couldn't wear a shoe over the bandage because it was still so sensitive to pressure.  The bad news was that my family was going to the Ute Stampede rodeo as we do every year.  It is dusty and dirty and I was really worried about it getting infected so I almost decided not to go.  My dad said that he would carry her around so she wouldn't have to walk on it so I finally relented.  The rodeo was fun because Amy, her husband Lance and daughter Sammie came with us.  After the rodeo we went to the carnival and the girls went on a few rides but Jordyn wasn't able to go on a lot of them because of not having a shoe on.  We didn't stay too late and finally I headed home to go back to bed.

Sunday, July 18th: We all slept in today. Holy Cow. I woke up and it was 10:00. My girls didn't wake up until 11:00. I guess we needed it after this crazy week. I did a couple loads of laundry and read my book (the 8th book in the Work and the Glory). We got cleaned up and went to my Aunt Jennifer's house for another family dinner. A lot of my cousins were leaving the next day so it was one last hurrah before everyone slowly goes back to their normal routines. It had been a very sad week but really fun to get everyone together (minus only 3 cousins) and talk and get better acquainted with everyone. At one point I was sitting in the house and suddenly I see Maegan riding past the window on a little electric scooter. I was shocked! I had no idea she could manage one of those on her own. Plus I'm a little skittish about the whole helmet thing. Apparently she "rides them all the time" at her friend's house. I just loving finding out little tidbits about what my kids are doing when they are not with me. I had to remind myself that she was not going much faster than she would be on a bicycle and only in the back yard so I needed to not freak out. My girls stayed to sleep over with my cousin Emily's daughter, Carly Rae and my aunt took them to the daycare the next morning.

I'm exhausted just reliving all of this.  Sorry it took me so long to get it all written up but it really does take a lot of time to remember everything that took place.

Warning....there are tons of pictures here!